I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, beer. Big fan.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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