well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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