You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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