they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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