Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
