Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
