Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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