True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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