If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
