I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
