in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
