Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he laminated a picture of his dick.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
