we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i out mim tonsoeep
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