1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".