well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
