she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.