guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.