Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

Fav 4 3317 743
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived

Fav 18 1091 7625
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version

Fav 32 2560 4920
share tweet
(940): View more from Texas

there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

Fav 66 1121 20783
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(366): View more from

just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.

Fav 7 4944 1636
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight

Fav 12 2652 1369
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.

Fav 4 3290 1730
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.

Fav 4 1088 670
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.

Fav 1 249 77
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT