Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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  (860): I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore. http://tfl.nu/igz1
  Replies (32) Good night (825) Bad night (3161)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

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  (203): I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night? http://tfl.nu/u6ad
  Replies (6) Good night (5363) Bad night (1422)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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  (206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc
  Replies (14) Good night (3755) Bad night (1565)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming

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  (862): this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming http://tfl.nu/d5m0
  Replies (34) Good night (4203) Bad night (1050)
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  (415): View more from California

  he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.

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  (415): he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you. http://tfl.nu/17uy
  Replies (7) Good night (964) Bad night (2863)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out

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  (502): we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out http://tfl.nu/ipng
  Replies (9) Good night (1067) Bad night (4260)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.

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  (815): I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man. http://tfl.nu/ripg
  Replies (11) Good night (5501) Bad night (1035)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"

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  (603): i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws" http://tfl.nu/3sed
  Replies (3) Good night (3374) Bad night (1240)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.

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  (904): You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies. http://tfl.nu/5zb6
  Replies (1) Good night (2209) Bad night (904)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.

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  (801): He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up. http://tfl.nu/2vsu
  Replies (4) Good night (3020) Bad night (1122)
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  (213): View more from California

  I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...

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  (213): I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question... http://tfl.nu/p1j1
  Replies (8) Good night (1212) Bad night (621)
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  (760): View more from California

  I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.

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  (760): I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/7wj6
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (1415)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.

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  (570): He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point. http://tfl.nu/gdgk
  Replies (7) Good night (347) Bad night (968)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.

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  (517): Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into. http://tfl.nu/xhgf
  Replies (3) Good night (286) Bad night (773)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be

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  (505): Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be http://tfl.nu/c3xl
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (302)

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