Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.