He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Randomize
