How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
