I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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