Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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