I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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