so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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