I am midnight drunk by noon
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
