His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
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You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize