It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
