I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
