Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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