I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How's work?
Spinning.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
