Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
