i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
