Dual....:-)
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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