Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
