Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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