Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
