walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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