He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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