the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
