need another drink. this is the easiest way
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
