i barfeds in our rink
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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