So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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