I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My vagina is officially offended.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
