we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
