You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
