handjob tips. give me some.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
