Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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