so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
