today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
