so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
