she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
