Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling