And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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