would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
please come you make the beer taste better
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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