dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?