I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?