no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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