why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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