sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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