Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
