I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
