I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All I want is dick and wine.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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