he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
