You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
