thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize