so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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