I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize