i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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