yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
