thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize