remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
