we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize